A Little Tact

Ponnu, the growing-up adult is good company. She brings about a lightness to situations.

A close relative came home for a visit. Her appearance had changed since the last time I had seen her, and that was some years ago. When I saw her, I commented on how different she looked now. She asked, "Have I changed a lot?" I said, "Of course, you have." Then, she asked the inevitable question. "Have I put on weight?" I replied, "Ya, loads of it too. You look very different now." My poor relative was saddened, and insisted, "My face is quite chubby, isn't it?" I just took off without considering what I was saying. "You know, your arms have become fat. You also seem to have shrunk in height." Ponnu's `Ma' got me turning to her side. "I think grandma is calling out to you."

I went in and realized it was just a ruse to get me out of the room. For Ponnu followed me. "How could you tell aunty she was fat?" "Hey, she asked me. I did not volunteer that information," I defended myself. "Not on, Ma. Just not on." I looked at Ponnu and decided to pull the right weapons from my armoury for an argument. "Ponnu, I was being honest. You don't expect me to lie, do you, and tell her, `You look the same'?" Ponnu laughed. "Ma, a little tact would have been better. Don't tell a lie, but don't say the truth in all situations."

One of my first guidepost to Ponnu was to always speak the truth, no matter what the stakes. I forgot to add tact.