A `Special' Friend

Ponnu’s views on marriage were now out in the open. So what does that mean? Time for me to ask the question that was worrying me. Is `worry' the right word? No. Not worry, really. Curious, I guess. Yes, `curious' sounds best for I don’t expect Ponnu with anything foolish or impractical.

I know Ponnu’s friends. Every one of them is familiar by name, some by faces and some I bond with very, very well. But I haven’t yet heard of any `special’ friend amongst them. Anyway this was the work of my overanxious mind.

I thought I was being casual when I’d ask, “Ponnu, do you have a special friend?” She replied, “No” just as easily. Ok, so she got what I was hinting at. I asked the question, I guess, a little too frequently and one day Ponnu decided to help me with, “Are you asking, do I have a boyfriend?” What relief! I don’t know why I could not have been open and just asked the question, considering we don’t have a this-is-the-limit cordon about our relationship.

“Yes, that is what I want to know,” I said finally. “See Ma, I don’t have a boyfriend now.” That meant there could be one in the future. Ponnu looked at my seemingly calm face and then put her arm around my shoulders and drew me close. “When I do have a boyfriend, you will be the first to know.” I laughed self-consciously. I don’t have a choice in the matter and yet, I am anxious. The fears are nameless and the list endless if I mentally prepare one. I think it is better for me to live the moment, which is meaningful everytime Ponnu and I are together.